Nell o' Sparta

Nell o' Sparta

Nell o’ Sparta

Na! Na! Aa’m nae gyan inower ony boat!
Aa wis eence on a boat
Wi the bairns -
Na, never again!

Ye think mi affa bonnie,
The bonniest quine ye ever saw?
Bit div ye love mi?
Or div ye jist wint mi
For a trophy bidie-in?
Aa widna be muckle o a trophy
Gin Aa’d couket a’ the wye ti Troy.

Ye canna live withoot mi?
Weel, Aa cwidna live lang
Inower that boat o yours,
An syne ye wid hae tae dee withoot’s onywye.

Oh, aye.
The extra-terrestrial deem
In the beauty contest promiset ye
The bonniest umman
On Earth for a wife!
She kin’a owerlooket the fac
That sic a like deem
Micht be mairriet already,
Bit maybe faar she cam fae
That didna maiter!

Mind you,
Menelaus is a borin aal git,
Naething in’s heid bit
Discus & javelin & brakkin in horse,
An a’ the bairns his taen efter him.
Aa wid easy come wi ye
If it wisna for the boat.

Even if Aa did come oot o’ a swaan’s egg,
Aa dinna like waater.

So yer Delphic Oracle,
Yon spae wife,
Says sangs will be sung aboot’s
Till the ine o’ time,
Foo bonnie Aa wis,
An the thoosan ships
That ma man sent ti fess mi hame.

(Aye, he’s ettlin ti try oot
His new fangled warships an gie
His gay gallants a spree.)

Weel they'll jist hae ti sing something else.
Ach, chyach, they'll seen get some ither scandal,
In twa-three thoosan 'ear.
Launcelot an Guinevere,
Mrs Simpson an Eddie,
Yer Oracle wid be sweelin amon them
If she took a lang look.

An you micht get afa ta'en up wi
Discus & javelin & brakkin in chariot horse
In a year or twa.

Na, na!
Aa get affa seasick,
An Aa'm nae gyan.

© P J Goodall

	Nell o’ Sparta Na! Na! Aa’m nae gyan inower ony boat! Aa wis eence on a boat Wi the bairns - Na, never again! Ye think mi affa bonnie, The bonniest quine ye ever saw? Bit div ye love mi? Or div ye jist wint mi For a trophy bidie-in? Aa widna be muckle o a trophy Gin Aa’d couket a’ the wye ti Troy. Ye canna live withoot mi? Weel, Aa cwidna live lang Inower that boat o yours, An syne ye wid hae tae dee withoot’s onywye. Oh, aye. The extra-terrestrial deem In the beauty contest promiset ye The bonniest umman On Earth for a wife! She kin’a owerlooket the fac That sic a like deem Micht be mairriet already, Bit maybe faar she cam fae That didna maiter! Mind you, Menelaus is a borin aal git, Naething in’s heid bit Discus & javelin & brakkin in horse, An a’ the bairns his taen efter him. Aa wid easy come wi ye If it wisna for the boat. Even if Aa did come oot o’ a swaan’s egg, Aa dinna like waater. So yer Delphic Oracle, Yon spae wife, Says sangs will be sung aboot’s Till the ine o’ time, Foo bonnie Aa wis, An the thoosan ships That ma man sent ti fess mi hame. (Aye, he’s ettlin ti try oot His new fangled warships an gie His gay gallants a spree.) Weel they'll jist hae ti sing something else. Ach, chyach, they'll seen get some ither scandal, In twa-three thoosan 'ear. Launcelot an Guinevere, Mrs Simpson an Eddie, Yer Oracle wid be sweelin amon them If she took a lang look. An you micht get afa ta'en up wi Discus & javelin & brakkin in chariot horse In a year or twa. Na, na! Aa get affa seasick, An Aa'm nae gyan.
	© P J Goodall